


Better If I Stayed

by marshv



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Anal Sex, Bottom Keith (Voltron), First Time, Gentleness, M/M, Muscles, PWP, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Pre-Kerberos Mission, Size Difference, Top Shiro (Voltron), because Shiro is fucking ripped and i’m gay and so is keith, i started writing this before we got spoilers, this used to be canon compliant but with season 7 it’s not anymore.. rip...
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-20
Updated: 2018-08-20
Packaged: 2019-06-17 20:07:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15469029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marshv/pseuds/marshv
Summary: Kerberos was coming up in less than a week. If they didn't do something now, they might never get a chance to. But Shiro still had concerns.





	Better If I Stayed

**Author's Note:**

> benafflecksmoking.jpg I'm been working on this for ages and I'm so fucking done with it. Idk how to write smut anymore this is so fucking bad. I think I got torn between kink and cute first-time sex and what resulted was this amalgamation of absolute garbage and irredeemable filth. I'm sorry.
> 
> For dreamwidth’s [seasonofkink](http://seasonofkink.dreamwidth.org)!
> 
> Fill for “First Time” prompt. 
> 
> Not canon compliant since Shiro was in a relationship with Adam pre-kerberos I can't believe all the pre-kerberos fics are considered AU now rip..

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Shiro asks him.   
  
This has to be the hundredth time he’s asked in the past hour. It’s starting to make Keith think he lost interest. The idea is so distressing and downright awful that it makes his heart sink.   
  
From his place on the bed, Keith watches him. Shiro is in the middle of the room, ramrod straight, clenching his fists with nervous energy. They both want to do something before he leaves. Just in case he never comes back. It’s an ugly thing to consider, but Keith isn’t taking chances. Years of a stupid crush finally culminated into a relationship about a year ago. And months of kissing sent Keith to bed every night with his own hand between his legs. They never went beyond that, even though Keith wanted to. Now with Kerberos less than a week away, he was desperate.   
  
“Why would I keep bringing it up if I wasn’t sure?” he finally bites back.   
  
He’s too defensive in his reply. But he’s hurt. And disappointment shows in the way he slouches. If Shiro didn’t want to do this in the first place, why’d he agree to it? The back and forth was killing him.   
  
Shiro sighs, cocking his head like a disappointed parent. It’d be patronizing coming from anyone else, but Keith knows he’s sincere. The look is too fatherly, though. Shiro isn’t his dad. He isn’t his teacher. He’s his friend. They’re supposed to be in this together.   
  
“I’m serious, Shiro,” he tries again. He’s glaring at him, but it doesn’t last, and his face softens into a sad frown. “Look, if you’re having second thoughts just tell me. We don’t have to do this.”   
  
“You know I want this just as much as you do,” Shiro sighs again, moving to sit next to him. The creak of the bed is too loud in the sparsely furnished room. “I just don’t want to hurt you. You remember what I said. You’re…”   
  
He swallows before finishing.   
  
“...You’re a lot smaller than me.”   
  
It makes Keith roll his eyes. Of all the things to make him apprehensive, Shiro had to be worried about the one thing that Keith spent the majority of his free time fantasizing about. He wants to scream.   
  
“Yeah. And I said I liked it," he huffs. "Why don’t you believe me?”   
  
It’s so damn easy to make Shiro blush. Keith almost forgets his annoyance, unable to do anything to restrain his smirk, and takes pride in the pink coloring the other’s cheeks. Sometimes he wonders if Shiro knows how attractive he is. Or if he’s just too modest to own up to it.   
  
The blush fades at some point, and Shiro gathers himself.   
  
“I do believe you,” he coughs once, then regains his composure like nothing happened. “But I also want you to understand what you’re getting into.”   
  
Again, Keith rolls his eyes.   
  
“And I do. I’m not a kid. I can make my own decisions.”   
  
It’s so frustrating. Keith’s temples flair and he wants to be mad. He’s been mad over lesser things in the past. But he can’t. Because Shiro is too sweet. Too considerate. And Keith wants to kiss him over and over again until he understands how much he means to him.   
  
So he does.    
  
It catches Shiro off guard, the way Keith leans into him. The surprise makes his mouth fall, and Keith takes full advantage, snaking an arm around Shiro’s broad shoulders when his guard is down. Fingertips trail through the light stubble near his neck, hand rubbing circles over Shiro’s toned pectorals, memorizing every muscle. Keith can feel them twitch under his palm.   
  
Shuddering at the feeling, Keith cranes his neck and captures Shiro’s bottom lip, licking and sucking at the wet skin with languid roles of his tongue. It’s warm and damp. Heat coils in his stomach. One of Shiro’s hands grasps along the small of his back, stroking, sending a shiver down his spine that they both notice.   
  
Every time Shiro touched him, no matter what they were doing, Keith would forget how to breathe. Every time. For a split second, he wouldn’t remember how. It lit a fire in him, clouded his mind, made his eyelids fall until the only thing in his vision was Shiro’s face.   
  
“Shiro...” Keith gasps the name into his mouth. “Please.”   
  
With a final lick to Shiro’s lip, Keith forces himself to pull away, breathing heavy, and touches their noses together to breath him in. He rubs the back of Shiro’s neck, sensing his quivering shoulders.   
  
“You’re gorgeous, you know,” Shiro tells him. It shakes Keith out of his mindless staring. Breaking eye contact, Shiro’s gaze roams around Keith’s face, admiring his parted lips, loving his long eyelashes and dark eyes. 

Keith wraps him into a hug.   
  
“Maybe," he says. "Nothing compared to you though.” His lips brush at Shiro’s ear, voice a whole octave lower.   
  
It's deep and inviting, and he feels how Shiro gulps, adam’s apple bobbing against him. It prompts a wicked smirk. Turning more to Shiro’s ear, Keith’s breath ghosts over the shell of his ear, bringing the lobe into his mouth. Biting, sucking, he draws a groan from Shiro’s chest.   
  
“Fuck me.” Keith rolls his hips, his own lip caught between his teeth.   
  
It’s little more than a breath of air. But the sound of Keith’s voice has Shiro hissing. Gripping Keith’s hips, he grinds him down onto his lap, pressing together until the only thing separating them is fabric. His nose pokes at Keith’s ear.   
  
“Anything.”

After that it’s a blur. They’re pawing at each other. Breathing heavy. Hurried. Hands everywhere at once, they search for skin. Keith is aggressive, brows scrunching together, grunting while he struggles with Shiro’s garrison coat. Before he gets far, Shiro slides his hands under Keith’s uniform, slipping off his cadet jacket.

Big hands cup Keith’s shoulders. They cover them completely, all the way around the top and over his shoulder blade. He feels so tiny. Short and skinny while the bulk of Shiro surrounds him. Keith bites back a whimper when he remembers his thighs are thinner than Shiro’s arms.

The image goes straight to his cock, and he’s up in a flash undoing his trousers, trying not to trip. Shiro startles at the sudden movement, but goes to shuck off his own clothes. When he does, Keith stops moving, pants around his ankles while he gawks. Shiro looks so good in the uniform, he always knew that. Knew it back when he first saw him. He cuts a commanding figure whenever he wears it. Hell, Shiro would look good wearing a paper bag. But the span of his chest, his rippling biceps, his solid abs, his skin being revealed inch by inch as the layers come off—is a million times better. When he’s half-naked, he’s like an ancient statue. Perfectly sculpted by the hands of an artist. They’ve seen each other changing before, but it was different now.

“Wow,” Keith mutters, more of a whisper than a real word.

Giving him a crooked smile, Shiro, _the fucking tease_ , flexes his arms. And Keith about passes out with his face burning while Shiro laughs at him.

Keith’s heart hammers when Shiro grabs his wrists. He guides him in. It’s the first time he’s taken the lead that night. And it turns Keith on enough that he’s biting his lip again and holding in a moan.

“Wow is right. Look at you,” Shiro emphasizes. He has a soft smile, pupils dilating, and he casts a glance down over Keith. “You’ve bulked up a lot since we met.”

Keith shrugs, not really knowing what to say.

“Thanks,” is all that comes out. He’s avoiding Shiro’s face, instead staring at his shoulders. His arms. His neck. Every inch of him glows, blanketed by plains of hard-earned muscle and dwarfing Keith in every way.

They’re holding hands, Shiro still sitting, Keith standing in front of him. Thumbs caress the back of his wrist, soothing the nerves he didn’t know needed soothing.

“Me first, or you?” Shiro asks.

It takes a second for the sound to even register. Keith forces his stare away from Shiro’s body and meets his gaze, blinking.

“What?”

“Pants,” he says again. “Do you want me to take mine off first, or do you wanna do yours?”

Keith makes a face.

“Fuck, I don’t care. Mine. Yours. I don’t care.”

It’s a heart-stopping experience getting his boxers off. He’s never been naked in front of anyone. His blood pounds. Racing. While Shiro gets his own pants off, he hums words of encouragement to Keith the entire time.

“I can’t wait to see you,” Shiro tells him.

It’s appreciated because Keith’s neck prickles at the thought of screwing up. Or of Shiro not liking what he sees. Or of any number of things that could go wrong. When Keith is nude, he doesn’t hide anything. Just holds his breath and hopes he’s good enough. He’s got nothing to write home about, nothing impressive or exciting, but Shiro looks at him like he’s a god.

He doesn’t notice Shiro’s face though. Because all he can see is Shiro’s bare body, naked and open, chiseled abs and hips and perfection on every square inch of him.

His cock though.

“Oh...”

His cock is something else.

Keith gives a subdued moan. He cannot, for the life of him, understand why Shiro was ever nervous about this—size be damned. Because right there, less than a foot in front of him, was the most amazing cock Keith had ever seen. He’s speechless, and his own dick twitches at the sight of it. Ideas of what’s to come spring to life in his head. Shiro’s shaft is thick. Heavy and hard with a vein running down the side. The head is an angry purple, uncut, and already starting to leak. He can’t tell the exact length just by looking, but like the rest of Shiro, it’s big. Big and bulky. And intimidating.

“Are you still up for this?”

The question goes unheard, and a jumble of nonsensical syllables spill from Keith’s mouth. He hardly notices he’s made a sound.

Then, without any warning, totally on instinct, Keith is tackling him to the bed. He has no idea what he’s doing. But Shiro is smiling, no longer the nervous one in all this. Kissing his cheek, Shiro maneuvers them so Keith is on his lap. Their shafts are pressed together, soft skin sliding against each other, nerves alight. Keith is already rocking his hips, whining when he realizes he won't last long.

Two rough hands palms at Keith’s thighs, soothing him. Shiro squeezes to massage the plush skin on Keith's ass. Fingers trail down the center and spread him, poking southward until he’s rubbing a circle around Keith’s hole. Cold air hits the sensitive skin, the contact making Keith hiss.

Then just like that, they’re gone.

“Hold on.” Shiro reaches over to the bedside table to dig through the drawer.

“What’s wrong?” Keith watches, impatient.

Shiro shows him a bottle and pops it open.

“Oh yeah.” Keith goes red.

“Yeah kinda important.” Shiro trickles a dollop of lube onto his fingers. “You’re ok with me doing it?”

“Unless you want me to,” Keith shrugs.

When Shiro purses his lips, Keith has to stop himself from kissing him again.

“... I’d really like to do it if that’s ok.”

Keith downright purrs at him. He tilts his hips, arching his back to give Shiro better room, their erections rubbing together again. The sensation has Shiro's eyes rolling back, appreciating the feeling and the gorgeous display of Keith’s body.

Once again, fingers feel behind him. Slick. Sliding into his body. The first one goes in smooth, without resistance. Keith shudders, letting his eyelids close. It’s enough to have him moaning already. His breath hitches when Shiro eases in a second finger. The two of them pull and scissor inside him, stretching him open. Rubbing along his walls, they press against delicate nerves. Keith rolls his hips to meet Shiro’s movements, shivering. As his cock continues to grow, it bobs between his stomach and Shiro’s shaft, feeling better the deeper the fingers go.

“Please,” he gasps.

It’s too much, and he feels his body reacting. As he attempts to get Shiro’s fingers out and his cock in, he whines. The emptiness is unbearable, and he scrambles to hover over Shiro’s waiting cock.

“You’re gonna hurt yourself just hold on.”

“Fuck that, just put it in me.”

Two hands force his thighs back, sitting him down. Keith tries to voice his frustrations but fails—Shiro's fingers are inside him again. It’s good. He’ll admit it. But it’s nowhere near enough. He’s mortified by how much he craves it. He’s wanted it for years. And at one point he didn’t think he’d ever get it. They’re here now though, both naked, both hard.

But Shiro won’t let up, and insists on stretching him, pumping his fingers in and out. Keith’s too weak to fight back. Instead he focuses on holding off his orgasm. But then, there’s more, and Shiro's third stuffs itself inside next to the others. He’s getting looser. His walls relaxing. Muscles pliable and softening around the intrusion. He doesn’t know how long Shiro’s planning on doing this. But by the time he adds a fourth finger, Keith is ready to explode.

“Come on,” he grunts, trying to get away from Shiro’s fingers.

“Ok fine! Just…”

And without any more waiting, Keith shuffles forward, knees lifting him up, and impales himself onto Shiro’s thick and glistening cock.

Shiro chokes on his own breath, gasping, eyes wide. He doesn't do anything at first. Too shocked. But then, as his palms shake, his fingers find their way to Keith’s hips, gripping them with a force tight enough to bruise.

Keith is frozen. Back arched. Thighs tense. His whole frame stills, shaking, paralyzed around the intrusion. He’s spread open, legs wide, straining to take in everything Shiro’s got. In one motion, he took his entire length. Every inch of it. Deep inside him as it presses at the base of his prostate. Fucking hell it's big. Shiro’s balls are right against the crook of his ass, and Keith has to force himself to breathe.

“Fuck, Shiro, you’re huge,” he whispers, rolling his hips to get more of Shiro’s cock. The tip is throbbing, leaking pre-cum, and Keith loves the way it's drenching his entrance, no room inside to fit.

“Yeah I know,” Shiro hisses through it all. “Are you ok?”

Keith nods with his lips drawn, forcing out a reply. “You feel perfect.”

Shiro sighs, drawing gentle circles on Keith’s hips with his thumbs. Keith is still seated on his lap, trapped by Shiro’s massive cock. Without saying a word, he lifts up, trembling, and Shiro’s shaft slides out. They both struggle to breathe, Shiro digging his fingers into Keith’s skin. Their moans fill the room, loud enough for someone to hear. And when Shiro’s out all the way, the tip teasing Keith’s entrance, Keith pauses. His thighs quaking.

It only lasts a second―he had to prepare himself―because then, with a slow, gentle fall, Keith starts to drop down again, taking Shiro in. His hips twitch, trembling, and his teeth clench as he lowers himself. The fat head of Shiro’s cock starts to spread him again. Wider than he’s ever been. Wider than the first push somehow. And it eases him open. So slow. Muscles straining. The burn is good. Hot. Intense. It stretches him. And Keith tightens around Shiro’s erection, the pressure inside making his body scream.

He gasps as the tip pops through his aching entrance, hole twitching around the head, fluttering muscles massaging Shiro’s solid cock. It’s all wet and slick and the rest goes in fast. Deeper and deeper, inch by inch. Keith’s body sucks him inside, desperate to take it all again.

The walls of his passage fill with Shiro’s shaft. Keith relaxes against the thickness, willing his muscles to calm and loosen. He can’t help the whine he makes, high pitched and needy, mouth open, eyelids falling. He’s consumed by ecstasy. Shiro pulls his mouth into a tight line, trying not to moan.

Keith collapses forward to frame his hands by Shiro’s head. They’re face to face. This close, he can feel Shiro’s uneven breathing over his cheeks. Shuddering. Keith bends down and presses his lips to his ear.

“Fuck me,” he rasps. He’d never heard himself like this. Never. Shiro’s cock feels amazing but dammit he needs to help him out and _fucking move_.

Just barely, Shiro opens his eyes. He takes in the sight of Keith on his lap, shivering again, and Keith gives a thrust of his hips.

“More,” he begs. “Shiro, come on.”

“Ok, ok. Just…”

Shiro pulls Keith’s hips down, his own hips meeting in the middle. The entirety of his cock is sheathed inside Keith’s much smaller body, flush with the crease of his ass for the second time that night. Buried as deep as it can go.

It takes skill for Keith to control his thoughts. His mind is numb, his muscles working. He can’t move. The cum that was drenching his hole is squeezed out, now completely displaced by Shiro’s cock. He’s tickled by it dripping down his inner thighs. It’s so much at once. So much. So hot. Shiro’s cock holds him open, and Keith relishes the feel of it spreading him.

Skin tingling, Keith bounces his hips, breathing through his nose. He needs to experience Shiro sliding along his insides again. His own dick is dripping, wetting his shaft, already too close to finishing.

By some miracle, they manage to get a rhythm going. Keith pulls off again, firing off every nerve in his body. It has him writhing. The sheer luxury of it. Compared to this, having Shiro inside him was nothing. Because now his body is getting stroked by Shiro’s cock, sliding past every dip and crevice inside his hole and making him tense.

After a few penetrations, he takes a pause to breathe, Shiro only halfway in. Keith doesn’t say anything. Can’t say anything, gasping too much to get a word in.

“Does it hurt?” Shiro asks. The ragged tone in his voice makes him sound exhausted. So out of it. Like he can’t think straight anymore. And Keith is immensely proud of himself for being able to please him so well.

“You’re perfect,” Keith laughs, a bright and airy chuckle, and doesn't answer.

He really is, Keith thinks. It’s Shiro after all. Perfect is his favorite descriptor for him. He could tease Keith’s hole with his fingers all night and Keith would still get off on it. But he wants this. This right here. Wants Shiro to want it, too. Wants them both to be tired and lightheaded by the time they’re done.

Shiro looks him in the eye, staring him down. The intensity of it makes Keith stop.

“You know I love you right?” Shiro asks him.

It’s out of nowhere, and Keith’s senses overflow with sensation. His heart bursts in his chest. His skin tingles, goosebumps on his arms and legs. Shiro doesn’t wait, and presses into him again. The tip hits directly onto his prostate and Keith nearly cries. Loving it. Shaking, he smashes his lips into Shiro’s and nods. Nearly sobbing at the now frantic pace. _I love you too_ , he wants to say. He’s so close. He doesn’t see Shiro’s eyes rolling back, so overwhelmed, so ready. Keith knows he’s tight and it's driving Shiro wild. Shiro is a solid mass of muscle and sweat pounding into him. And Keith squeezes Shiro’s cock with his open entrance, deciding he wants him there forever. 

“It’s so good,” Keith whimpers. He forces it out, breathing shallow over the words.

He’s so close. So close.

The hands on Keith’s waist grind their hips together, lifting and thrusting, rocking their bodies as wet skin slaps together with every move. Dripping sweat coats their necks. Glosses over their chests. Keith’s abdomen tenses as his body stills. Clenches around Shiro. His eyes roll, dropping shut, and he cries out. A violent shudder wracks through his back and his limbs and his every single nerve. Shaking. Going rigid. His entrance pulses and aches, grinding on Shiro’s cock. Hips jerking forward, his walls clench, keeping Shiro inside as Keith’s cum coats their stomachs.

Almost immediately, he feels Shiro lose it too. Coming undone. Through his afterglow, Keith holds his breath as a stream of white drenches his inner walls, flooding him until it gushes from his hole. Shiro thrusts upward, straight into Keith, riding out his orgasm.

Everything is sensitive, like every touch is multipled by ten. Keith lays on Shiro’s lap as Shiro softens inside him. Chest to chest. Silent. Struggling to catch their breaths. Their hair is plastered to their foreheads, Keith’s is long enough that it obscures his face. But he doesn’t care. Doesn’t even notice. Because Shiro’s hands run along his back, a final shiver running through Keith, while fingertips trail swirls into his skin. Keith relishes in the warmth. His body cooling, but his heart warm.

He drags his nose over Shiro’s chin, his jaw, smiling into him and pressing his lips to the muscles on his neck. Under him, Shiro lets out a relieved sigh, and Keith can hear the smile in it.

-

Looking back on it all—the start and the finish, the during and the aftermath, the sounds and the sensations and the tastes of it—Keith is grateful. Except instead of joy, his chest burns with devastation. And he clutches at Shiro’s picture, stained with sobs, holding it to his chest. The TV repeats the news over and over again. The Kerberos mission. He’d watched the story a dozen times. And his world shattered a little more every time he saw it.

**Author's Note:**

> My [dreamwidth](http://joustpistice.dreamwidth.org)
> 
> My [tumblr](http://dipperpines.com)
> 
> As always let me know if there are any errors since I don't have a beta lmao


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